Inside-Outside: The culture of the church

These are thoughts written some time ago in the context of my blog and brought back here for current reflection. The question is important, and is the beginning of some posts on justice issues. In a sense, community does not exclude biblical justice!

I was once asked to help a congregation develop a small group ministry. This was a very good congregation with a long and admired history. They have recently relocated to a different community. The issue at hand is that they are getting many visitors to the Sunday worship service but these are not being assimilated into the Sunday School or other areas in the life of the church.

Some wanted to drive small group with curriculum. Huge mistake. No doubt we should teach within the boundary of the Apostles’ teaching (Acts 2:42), but small group is a method of developing Community, and Community is about relationships.

Which brings me to the point. Why the Church? Why the “called out ones”? Often in discussions some want to push every word to extremes. For example, if I asked “Do you go to “church” or are you the church? Some would take one extreme or another and shape the conversation around whether or not one should attend public worship. That is missing the point.

The point is about identity as a follower of Jesus and how we live that out with others. We are called, transformed, and sent with the gospel message. The new community of which we are a part is a relational community.

Within the biblical parameter, there is mutual accountability. Accountability can only be positive in an environment of loving relationships. In the context of evangelism, no one is won to Christ by someone they do not like. In the context of the church, no one will submit to accountability or discipline unless they believe the church or the other person genuinely loves them.

Love does not gloss over sin or bad behavior. Confrontation is sometimes necessary and almost always painful. The Bible uses a phrase that we sometimes over-use and by doing so we can negate its impact: “But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head – Christ” (Eph. 4:15).

I confess my guilt in using this verse as an excuse for sometimes blurting out words that are truth, but not said in a loving way or with the intent of helping the hearer ‘grow in every way into Him’.

Many churches have what I call an “inside culture”. These are wonderful people who are very out of touch with the desires of the culture around them. In order to be part of that church, one must first learn the “inside culture” and adapt their life to it. That will happen less and less. And it is death to a convention of churches.

Does not love teach us to take proactive steps to develop biblical community in such a way as to break down the walls in order for us to develop healthy relationships and become catalysts for the transformation of soul that only Christ can bring?

Do you see an “inside culture” that is prohibitive in reaching people? How do you deal with it in your context?

Camelot, Camels, and Center

My first date with my wife was to see the movie Camelot. We sat in the balcony holding hands as Arthur and Guinevere romanced and sought to build the round table. Unfortunately Lancelot captured Guinevere’s affections and she and Lancelot betrayed Arthur. Mordred, the illegitimate son of Arthur exposed the affair with the intent of destroying Arthur and taking his throne. The end scene in the movie was on a battlefield on which Lancelot and Arthur would lead their Knights to fight to the death. Guinevere came out of the fog to reveal she had taken refuge in a convent. She wept out a movie version of repentance to Arthur, who forgave her.

Of course, the movie is fiction and most scholars regard the story as fiction as well. Arthurian scholar Norris J. Lacy commented that “Camelot, located no where in particular, can be anywhere”.

That has certainly been true in American politics with the Kennedy administration. It is often referred to as “Camelot”.

My question is this. Is that also true of some past history in denominational and church life? And if so, was it ever as good as some remember? I hear people talk about the “old days”. In my own mind I have mostly been an outsider. But I have listened. And I have come to believe that much of what some talk about is Lacy’s definition of “Camelot” – located no where in particular, can be anywhere.”

Which leads to the question, ‘Is this why some insist upon swallowing camels’? Jesus refers to some in his day as “blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel” (Matthew 23:24). What was the problem in Matthew 23? Seven woes are pronounced upon those who preach but do not practice (23:3).

You see, Camelot exists only in the imagination. No doubt there have been good times and bad times in history, but we do not live in history. We are informed and somewhat shaped by it, but we live in the present and prepare for the future. The Scriptures speak of David as serving the purpose of God in his own generation, then dying (Acts 13:36).

And I remind you – Camelot did not end well and camels are very difficult to swallow!

May I offer a suggestion in the form of a question for 2010? Whether it be the local church in which we serve, the denomination, or the Great Commission Resurgence – can we find our center in Christ?

I have never doubted the inerrancy of Scripture. I learned that at my father’s knee as a child. My parents could not give theological reasons nor did they use the term “inerrancy”. But they did understand and teach that the Bible was God’s word and there was no error in Scripture. We have what God wants us to have. So, the sufficiency of Scripture was learned as a child. But as an adult I have also learned the superiority of Scripture.

If ministry methods, traditions of men, and social mores not taught in Scripture become equivalent to Scripture in our processing of discipleship and community, then are we perhaps swallowing a camel in search of a non-existent Camelot?

The revival we seek will only come when the Christ of the Bible is at the center. We can be described by boundaries we create, but we cannot be defined by them. A follower of Christ can only be defined by radical commitment to Him and the extension of His Kingdom.

The Christian life is one that requires an empowerment not from ourselves. We can only be empowered from Christ the center, not the boundaries. Thus, to live life together from the center is to live centered in Christ and focused on Christ.

Jesus taught us that the only thing attractive to humanity is the uplifted Christ (John 12:32). In the cross-resurrection event is both judgment upon sin and grace for the sinner. It is Christ the center that enables life for the sinner.

Historically, one generation does not pass down their vision to another. God is fully capable of calling, gifting, and giving vision to each generation. The question becomes “How may we flow together in a multi-generational world and church to the glory of God without segmentation that dismisses those not like us?”

I offer that we all submit to Christ as the center and one generation resources the next – not just in terms of money, but in terms of all we have. We resource with people, money, creativity, respect, honor of others, etc.

In other words, recognize that Christ dwells in the hearts by faith of all who have been born again. He has gifted each one. Now in your congregation and sphere of influence, how can that gifting be utilized for the glory of God and the extension of His kingdom? What resources do you and your congregation bring to the table?

We might begin by with taking the camel off the menu and understanding that Camelot is fiction. Christ alone is reality (Col. 2:8-17).

May 2010 be a year for you in which you and your congregation see the abundant blessings of God and His favor.

EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL…HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT?

It will not be news to pastors and former pastors to know that leading a congregation of God’s people is a daunting task.  The very metaphor of the “body” as used in Scripture to describe the church is one filled with the serious and the humorous.  A reading of 1 Corinthians 12:14-27 confirms this.

I recall hearing Evangelist Junior Hill refer to this passage. He said many want to be something they are not. Some may be a big toe, but they want to be an eye. He then said, “But remember, if you are a big toe and want to be an eye, all you will ever see is the end of a sock!” OK. But we laughed when we he said it! I guess it’s all in the way you tell the story.

Most pastors and other church leaders have to deal with various kinds of people. Some are really emotionally dysfunctional, but they are part of the body. I want to talk about one of the most difficult in this post and refer you to some resources.

There is a type of person that resorts to what is called by some “emotional blackmail”. I like that term. Let me acknowledge that I first saw that term in a book of the same title by Susan Forward, Ph.D.  You need to know that Dr. Forward is a therapist, lecturer, and author. There is nothing in the book that would indicate that she is a person of Christian faith or evangelical faith. I simply do not know the answer to that question.

So why refer to this book? I find it very valuable is its description of a kind of person we as church leaders interact with on a fairly frequent basis. So the book is valuable for its descriptive purposes.

Prescription is to be found in the Word of God. It is unwise to use the wisdom of the world as prescriptive when the issue is a spiritual problem.

Dr. Forward describes emotional blackmail as a powerful form of manipulation in which some people in your life use fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you to do what they want. If you do not yield to their desires, they will threaten us. They know we value the relationship with them. They often know where we are vulnerable. They use these and other things to gain one thing – our compliance to their desires.

She summarizes these types of people as to their method. In chapter 2, she describes them as the punisher; the self-punisher; the sufferer; and the tantalizer. These are methods used to ultimately gain our compliance to the blackmailer’s wishes.

Some of these people are in the body of Christ, and some of them will call you this week, or meet you in some part of the local church building just before you step to the platform to begin the morning worship service. You last thought prior to entering worship is on that conversation. And it can be a huge tool of the devil to distract the man of God from the mission and message of God.

What do we do? Here are some suggestions.

First, our own heart must be prepared. Obviously we as leaders need to practice what we preach and have our own time with the Lord.

Second, we must not let our own character development slip or be arrested. A valuable resource to help with that is Jeff Iorg’s book, “The Character of Leadership”.

Third, Pray and immerse yourself in the unity passages and pastoral letters of the New Testament. Read Proverbs and take notes of the passages the Holy Spirit presses to your heart and mind as those that speak either as descriptive of the person or prescriptive of a biblical solution.

Fourth, reflect upon and/or know your own personality strengths and weaknesses. If your personality lends itself to being a people pleaser (not a compromiser, but one who values being well thought of to the extent you will do what others desire to gain their approval), you are very vulnerable to the person practicing emotional blackmail. If you are too aggressive this can be a potential explosion that will not cure the problem but will instead accomplish the desire of the Great Manipulator, Satan himself. Know who you are; know whose you are.

Fifth, bring around you trusted leadership of the congregation. Mentor them. Seek their wisdom. When issues come up, present to them a careful analysis of the issue (not the personality) and biblical solutions. Ask them to pray with you and ask them to share with you their thoughts. Sometimes, effective resolution means a change of procedures of how the church processes certain ministries. It may even be a change in constitution and by-laws. These need to be prayerfully thought through. The last thing you want is a “reaction”. Be proactive, always.

This will take longer but it will pay dividends in the future. Your credibility will be enhanced, and if you focus on the problem and not the person, the solution will be long-term and will forward the mission of God through the church. Sometimes a brother or sister can be restored. Sometimes, they themselves are not even aware of what they are doing. Correction can sometimes be achieved without destroying a brother or sister in Christ.

Sixth, act redemptively and with witnesses. Avoid at all costs situations of confrontation in which you do not have trusted church leadership by your side. Titus 3:10 is very specific in how to deal with those who are divisive. But you must have truth, love, and support of leadership. Make sure your own heart is redemptive and you are communicating that in word and body language.

Seventh, give God the glory and honor for resolution of the issue. Stay focused on the mission God has given.

These are some suggestions I have this a.m. Others of you may have experience in dealing with these kinds of situations. Comments?

PASTORS AND WIVES…THE HURT GOES ON

Have you seen Lonesome Dove? Do you recall the scene where the Army scout is attempting to take Newt’s horse and is whipping Newt while he hangs on to the horse? Captain Call sees it, rides down and mauls the scout with a branding iron. Gus ropes Call to pull him off the scout. When Call comes to his senses he mounts his horse, brushes his coat and looks at the crowd gathered and says, “I hate rudeness in a man…won’t tolerate it.” With that, tips his hat to the ladies and he rides away.

Perhaps you have wished for a Capt. Call to ride in and rescue you or your spouse from the rudeness inflicted upon them by uncaring church members. This past week my wife and I heard another story of hurt and pain as an older man had called out a pastor’s wife and with his remarks inflicted pain. In another situation, a pastor listened as a layman said inappropriate things from the platform.

Common Sense 101 is not an option, although we wish it were.  However, what is an option is pastor and wives reaching out to other pastors in fellowship.

Do you and your wife have another pastor and wife that is a friend?

What are your relational needs? The SBTC is a fellowship of confessing congregations and we care. We care in community and we care as a staff. The Minister/Church Relations Dept. and the Facilitating Ministries Dept. are sensitive to these needs.

So here is what we are asking. Talk back to us. Comment anonymously as to the need you and your family has and then send an email to us. The address is on the blog. Take the risk and be authentic. Let’s see what God will do out of this for His glory and your good.

AFTERGLOW

I hope many of you were able to attend the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention’s annual meeting in Lubbock. It was a relational and spiritual blessing in our (my wife and myself) lives .

Allow me to use this post to tell give you some personal observations.  The next post will deal with some spiritual warfare issues related to this previous post.

I have attended conventions for years – state conventions, national conventions, and evangelism conferences. Some things never change. Most of those have been as an employee of a convention and as such I was assigned certain duties that did not allow much time for being in the convention meeting hall itself. Thus, from my assigned booth I have observed many, in the words of the King James, “going to and fro”.

THE HALL FELLOWSHIP

I have learned that one does not have to have an ‘assignment’ to miss what is happening in the convention meeting! For some, it is like the morning walks at the local mall – they go round and round! It reminds me of Billy Preston’s “Will It Go Round in Circles.” Billy Preston was an entertainer raised in part in Houston, TX and at age 12 was leading a choir of 100 in his father’s church. He later chose a secular route to exhibit his many musical talents. You may listen to it on You Tube here, and get an added bonus of Eric Clapton’s guitar. And, understand this is a bit ‘tongue-in-cheek’. The value of a convention for many is to fellowship with old friends. We Baptists love to fellowship and it is an important part of what happens.

The Eating Meetings

“I see you found the food” was one comment. Yep. We Baptists not only like to fellowship, we like to eat. And some are willing to provide a meal for a nominal cost in order to share their ministry with those attending. Great fellowship around the table and an affinity ministry or one’s Alma Mater. Alma Mater is Latin for “nourishing mother”, so it is appropriate.

The Convention Meeting

Lots of paper went to recycle. Ballots were likely unused. The unity of the meeting was such that even when issues were discussed people were not unkind. The Spirit of the Lord was obvious in the meeting.

So What Set This One Apart?

God met with us in Lubbock. It is that simple. Lubbock is not a strong area for the SBTC in terms of number of churches. There are fewer churches there than in other places. Yet one could not have hoped for a more friendly and cooperative environment. The Lubbock Baptist Association led by their fine Director of Missions, Larry Jones, and the SBTC congregations were excellent hosts.

On the last night of the annual meeting, there were two evangelistic events. The last number of recorded decisions I have is 726. I personally helped three people – a man, a woman, and her ten-year old son. They were coming “to have a new beginning”. I went over the gospel to make as certain as is humanly possible they understood and were committing their lives to Christ. They themselves checked the “profession of faith” box on their decision card. When I looked at the cards they filled out to see if we had follow-up information, I saw that all three had different last names. A blended family with a new beginning in Christ.

The next morning in the Executive Board meeting Jack Harris gave a report on Crossover. When completed, the chairman of the board asked one of the pastors to lead in a prayer of gratitude to God. Some in the room were in tears. The pastor prayed, said “A-men”, then gently broke into “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow”. Everyone was moved with gratitude to God. It wasn’t what “we” had done, nor what the “SBTC” had done. It was a God thing and everybody knew it. Yes, we worked and prayed. But God is glorified.

You may read more of the convention reports in the on-line version of the TEXAN here.

The difference? I’ve been to many meetings. In this one, there was an obvious awareness that God had met with us and answered the prayers and efforts of so many. Indeed, To God Be The Glory, Great Things He Hath Done!!